I've always sat somewhere between these two groups, I don't mean literally, I'm not mentally profiling people to ensure I sit somewhere between these two opposites. I am not afraid to be part of the routine or have, as it's often referred to, the "mickey" taken out of me but the truth is I have never sat on the front row.
This fact comes from one of the many thoughts that my mind throws at me from time to time about my life, which I think you'll agree is quite a profound one:
How would my life sound at a comedy gig?
It may not instantly strike you as a thought up there with one brought on by Newton's apple falling from the tree or one that has even crossed your mind before but let me take you in to my world for a few moments and explain what I mean and by the end of it you'll either empathise or seal your opinion of me as a little bit crazy!
It's fair to say that my absence from this blog over the past 4 weeks (we were all thinking about the elephant in the room, one of us had to say it and seeing as it's me typing and you reading I guess that one would be me!) has been in no small part to my lack of creativity...& maybe a little bit in part to the PS3 that I bought last month!...but mainly the lack of creativity!
When I first started this blog I was hoping that getting my thoughts out there would inspire space for new ones but it seems that over the past month not only has my job kicked in to overdrive but my sleep has decreased & with it my motivation for creative thinking! Now I'm not here to make connections but I don't think Newton would need the aforementioned apple to piece this puzzle together!
So I needed to do something to shake me out of this rut and get back to you soon enough to prove to you that your faith in my previous posts has not all been in vain.
Needless to say then that I was glad that this week brought with it a long awaited trip to the local theatre to see Geordie comedian Chris Ramsey.
I knew that getting out to see a comedy gig would help to spark the creative juices but I never realised how much of an impact it would have and make me realise how important having the right job can be...if for nothing else than nights like these.
When I found out back in June that tickets for Chris Ramsey were going on sale I was straight on to the internet to make sure I would be there...well, I finished work first and went on when I got home but you get the gist of the excitement I'm trying to convey.
With there being only about 250 seats in the theatre he would be performing in I was slightly shocked to see that there were still seats available on the front row...and as tempted as I may have been for all of 10 seconds, until my head decided to chip in with "Imagine if he talks to you because you thought it would be a good idea to sit at the front. Do you really want to do that? Are you truly confident that your life is interesting enough to entertain a room of strangers?"... I think you can guess by now though that my answer to these questions was...no! And those of you with a keen eye may have also guessed by now that I decided to opt for 2 rows from the edge of danger and sought relative safety with a good view in row C.
Little did I know that at a Chris Ramsey gig, there is no such thing as a safe seat!
Now I am certainly not going to give too much away from the material that you can expect at one of his gigs but when I discovered that row C was only 5 feet from where Chris would be standing and the he made it very clear that he had a random generator for audience interaction, I knew my failsafe method for comedy gig safety was thrown right of out the window!
And so it was written, I wasn't just lucky enough to be randomly selected to interact with Mr Ramsey, oh no, I was lucky enough to be selected as the first person of the night to interact with him and help set the tone for the start of his set...no pressure then!
So the first two questions came:
- What's your name?
- What have you been doing today?
This led to question 3, "Where do you work?". Ok, so not a tough question if you work for a local council or for one of the major brands but when you work locally at a Re-Insurance company how much can you tell an out-of-town comedian without it just sounding like I've sworn at him in a foreign language?
My brain was fighting with itself. Do I tell him the truth or do I pick something at random? Is this my chance to work for Sir Alan Sugar? or MI5?
I was very tempted but I knew this would lead me down a rabbit hole that even my random brain couldn't get out of!
I couldn't decide on an ideal employer so I opted to respond factually, "I work at a Re-Insurance company in Telford".
I could see him thinking "There's going to be no comedy in this...wrap it up Chris". He searched for the next question, "Soooo...what is it that you do at this company?".
He was definitely hoping that this question didn't cement this opening as more of and Question and Answer session than a comedy gig.
Again, even though I've committed to a factual answer to where I work, he doesn't know exactly what the company does, so I could still have some fun with this...fun...something distinctly lacking from the answers I had given so far. This could be my chance to be anything I've ever wanted...I could be a spy?...no that wouldn't work, if I was then I couldn't tell him let alone a room full of strangers. I could be a Fireman?...(something I wanted to be whilst I was growing up watching London's Burning, until I realised that you actually had to fight fires!) or a Chocolate Tester (I don't know if such a role exists but if you're reading this and hiring for such a role please get in touch).
Instead, as time and the feeling of 250 pairs of eyes were against me, I went once again with the truth.
"I'm a Project Analyst".
Silence...
Now I'm no expert but silence at a comedy gig is never a good thing at any point, but within the first 2 minutes is certainly not what anyone in that room would have been hoping for!
This really wasn't going well!
Chris Ramsey tried to salvage this one last time. The title of his show was "Feeling Lucky".
Lucky was something I know for certain that he was not feeling right now.
He tried to ask what the job entailed but must have realised that if the answer was anything like the last four then this really would be comedy suicide, as he asked
"So, what was the first thing you did at work this morning?"
I could see him crossing anything that would cross, inwardly praying for something...anything to find the slightest piece of comedy in so he could move on... he was blatantly hoping that karma would reward him for his percerverence and there would be an Astronaut in Row F!
My temptation to search for a fantasy activity had never been greater but with the ground opening up beneath me, time was not on my side and I just went one final time with the truth...
"I got some toast!"
Toast?! I went with Toast!
As lines at a comedy gig go, that's not really one you would reach for at any time, least of all when you're striving for comedy survival.
Surely I was about to be thrown out for wasting everyones money and ruining the true meaning of a comedy gig.
But to my (and I have no doubt Mr Ramsey's) relief the room burst in to laughter.
I was saved!!!
Saved by the toast.
The toast that represents all that is wrong with my day to day activities.
Thw toast that now symbolises my quest for true self worth.
Now I'm not sure if the laughter in the room was directed at me, everyone suddenly realising how amazing their lives were in comparison to how mine sounds, or whether they genuinely found it funny. Either way the truth was out there!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this experience shows my true feelings about my job & my daily routine but I guess you could say that Chris Ramsey was acting as an inadvertent counselling service, making the gig not only a great night but excellent value for money!
So if you're like me, not quite sure that you have yet found the job you always dreamed of and spend quite a bit of time trying to figure out what that dream looks like just in case you're ever questioned by an enquiring comedian, put it all in to perspective and realise that it could be worse...the highlight of your day could be a piece of toast!
I hope this tale helps to inspire you to live your life how you want... but more importantly, to live your life with one of lifes most profound questions... how would it sound at a comedy gig?!
